


The give

by thatsthefrailtyofgenius



Series: Girls like girls [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, Internalised Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8028256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsthefrailtyofgenius/pseuds/thatsthefrailtyofgenius
Summary: We meet Tasia!! If you haven't read Nice, which was the first piece that kicked off this series, you can go do that because that's actually where I wrote Tasia first; but I'm backtracking and chronicling their relationship as it develops. Yay!Hope you enjoy, thank you, and as ever, let me know what you think.Dee xxP.S like the other pieces in this series, this isn't going to be multi-chapter, more like a snippet as the story progresses.





	The give

**Author's Note:**

> We meet Tasia!! 
> 
> If you haven't read Nice, which was the first piece that kicked off this series, you can go do that because that's actually where I wrote Tasia first; but I'm backtracking and chronicling their relationship as it develops. Yay!
> 
> Hope you enjoy, thank you, and as ever, let me know what you think.
> 
> Dee xx  
> P.S like the other pieces in this series, this isn't going to be multi-chapter, more like a snippet as the story progresses.

“Class, please welcome our new student, Tasia”

Liv doesn’t even look up from her essay. She’s been forced into actually doing the work this time; if she doesn’t, she’ll have to be mentored by the headmistress and spend the majority of her time with her head of year, Mr Cone. Cone isn’t so bad. In fact, he’s pretty fucking cool and he’d dragged their year group out of the gutter kicking and screaming.

But she knows how difficult that would be for Aaron, and she can’t justify putting that sort of pressure on him right now. Hence, she’s sat in a lesson, engrossed for once in one thousand five hundred words discussing the presence of a figurehead of conscience in An Inspector Calls. The topic itself makes her kind of uncomfortable, but she’s pushing through it.

Its only when a seat draws out beside her and someone settles in it, that she swallows tightly, grits her teeth, lifts her head, and glares sideways. Something in her stomach flips and she can’t pull air in through her lungs. She just manages to keep her face in place, but she can’t do anything else.

“I’m completely unprepared; bung me a pen”

It takes a second for Liv to recover, because apparently the universe fucking despises her and wants her to suffer by putting beautiful girls in the way of her living her damn life.

“It aint my fault you can’t remember your own shit,” Liv snaps and returns to her work, heart beating a jackhammer against the inside of her chest. Her head is spinning a little and it hurts to concentrate. This isn’t _fair_.

She expects Tasia to snap back, or at least glare in return. Instead, she hears a small snort of laughter as Tasia settles further into her chair and leans forward to tap the guy in front of them on the shoulder. She bats her eyelashes a little and has a pen within seconds. Liv recovers enough to roll her eyes, and just about manages to get back in the swing of what she’s writing. By the end of the lesson, her hand and her head ache, but she’s nearly met the word count, and when she hands the work to Troothman, she gives her a rare proud smile.

Come lunch, Liv is tired but feeling productive, and ready to sleep through science with Beswell.

He’s chill enough to let her get away with it, and isn’t stupid enough to make the same mistake as Bentham.

When she and Gabby step past the double doors of the school’s ‘street’ at the end of the day, the cigarette Liv presses between her lips feels like a drink of water in the middle of a desert, lifting the lingering edge of tension that’s been tickling along her skin since the Tasia incident this morning.

As if on cue however, as they sit on the wall outside, Tasia crosses the car park and smirks at them.

“Bum me a cig?”

“50p,” Liv grumbles, not actually expecting Tasia to hand it over. Liv takes good care to not let their fingers brush as she gives her the cigarette and a light.

“I’m Gabby,” Gabby grins 100 wats as she holds out her hand for Tasia to shake. She’s not in their English class; they’re in the top set, and Gabby is in the third to last, so she hasn’t met Tasia yet, but no doubt she’s heard about her from the rumour mill.

“Tasia,” she replies, returning the smile and winking at her. Gabby looks intrigued, clearly trying to deduce whether she can manipulate her or not. Liv doubts it; Tasia is… she hasn’t had a conversation with her yet, but it’s clear she’s clever as all hell and carries the arrogance to back it up.

“I love your skirt,” Gabby tells her, gesturing to the black plaited high waisted thing that falls gently on Tasia’s soft brown thighs. Liv pointedly doesn’t look, and it’s pretty fucking clear that Tasia notices that too.

“Thanks, love,” Tasia says, smoothing over the fabric “primark; six quid”

“Ideal,” Gabby says, nodding “I’ll – shit, what now?”

She’s cut off when her phone rings in the pocket of her blazer, slipping it out and pressing the receive button, the smile falling from her face immediately as she moves away to take the call. Tasia takes her seat and Liv scowls, shuffling away a couple of centimetres to get her own space.

“You’re really skittish, you know that right? Relax,” Tasia insists, her voice soft for the first time “I’m not going to bite”

“Really?” Liv grumbles again.

“Not unless you ask me to”

Liv almost chokes on the toke of smoke curling from her lips, and swallows tightly. Her tone is thick with suggestion, and Liv is taken back to the day of Uncle Zack’s wedding, and her encounter with Jem.

She _hates_ this.

She hates being afraid of her own feelings, like they’re wrong somehow, or predatory. She hates worrying about them, hates ignoring them and failing to repress them. It should be easy to just… shove them down. She’s always believed that if she refuses to acknowledge them, they’ll go away. That she’ll meet a boy one day whose hands on her skin won’t make her feel sick, who’s eyes will lift her off the ground like Gabby or Tasia’s do, who’s strong arms will make her feel safe instead of erroneous.

“You seem cool,” Tasia says a little later, and Liv can’t help but stare at the way the smoke furls between her full lips, the curve of her jaw and the slight shine of the overcast sky on the brown skin of her cheekbones. Her hair is a long mass of soft, dark afro curls that fall to her ribs, gorgeous and brilliant where they tangle a little in the spray of rain on the wind “we should be friends”

“You’re weird as fuck, you know that?”

She’s so confident, so forward, so easy. Liv isn’t accustomed to her brand of unapologetic, not even in comparison to her own brash attitude. It’s not darkened by irritation or tension; its bright with quick wit and a smile like the glow of a candle in a pitch black room.

“I know,” she shrugs, her curls jostling on her shoulders “but we should still be friends”

“I don’t have friends,” Liv sighs heavily, sucking deeply on her cig.

“Who’s Gabby then? Your sister or something?”

“No,” Liv snorts “she’s just… she’s different”

“Oh; you guys are together?”

“No!” Liv exclaims defensively “jesus fuck, it’s not like that. She was the first person to – I’m new too, okay? And Gabby was there for me”

“That’s nice, but your whole ‘I don’t have friends’ thing sounds really lonely. And as you can see, new girl isn’t exactly flocking them in,” she gestures around her, quirking the side of her mouth.

“You could have anyone you want and you fuckin know it,” Liv snorts.

“Maybe,” Tasia says “but no one’s told me to fuck off yet; you’re the only one”

“You want to be mates with me because I told you to fuck off?” Liv raises her eyebrow, utterly bemused. Tasia laughs slightly, and Liv resists the urge to bury her face in her hands and groan loudly because that sound… that sound makes her feel like flying.

“You’re the only one brave enough so far”

“Well you aint exactly intimidating, no offence”

That’s a blatant lie, but Tasia isn’t intimidating like Liv is, and she’s not scary to other people like Liv is. She’s terrifying because she’s something Liv doesn’t think she has the resolve to say no to.

“C’mon, Liv,” Tasia says, nudging her playfully “I’m not going to beg”

“Nah, I didn’t think you would”

“I’m not going to stab you in the back; I just want to get to know you”

Liv lets out a long, shaky breath and ducks her head, the cracks developing in her armour making her feel incredibly exposed.

“Look, I’ve been through some bad stuff lately, like, really, really bad. Trusting people has just been one disaster after another for me. I don’t - I don’t let people in easily”

“I get that,” Tasia smiles differently this time, and her green eyes sparkle with understanding, and suddenly reveal something else, something that Liv hadn’t noticed before, perhaps just as heavily guarded as her own issues. Tasia places her hand on the concrete of the wall between them and nods “I _understand_ ”

She doesn’t say anything else, or elaborate; but she doesn’t need to. There’s something in the way her voice cracks for the first time that makes it all very clear. Tasia, at some point, trusted someone who hurt her too.

“Fine,” Liv sighs heavily, rolling her eyes, cheeks hot, blood rushing with adrenaline as she gives in “fine, whatever. Bloody hell; I’m gonna regret this”

“I’ll prove you wrong,” Tasia grins, more sure than Liv has ever seen anyone in her life “just you wait, Olivia Flaherty; I’ll be the best, most loyal friend you ever have”


End file.
